Jimmy Kimmel, host of the 95th Academy Awards, roasted a sequence of pursuits in his opening monologue, from the length of the ceremony to Tom Cruise’s adherence to Scientology.

“We want you to have enjoyable, we wish you to feel secure, and most significantly, we wish me to feel protected,” Kimmel said. “So, now we have strict policies in location. If anyone in this theater commits an act of violence at any level during the exhibit, you’ll be awarded the Oscar for highest actor and authorized to offer a 19-minute lengthy speech.”

“No however severely, the academy has a challenge group in position. If anything else unpredictable or violent happens all through the ceremony, just do what you probably did final yr. Nothing. Sit down there and do completely nothing. Perhaps even provide the assailant a hug,” he joked.

Kimmel cracked a joke about Cruise, who skipped this 12 months’s experience regardless of a raft of nominations for his blockbuster movie Top Gun: Maverick, and his membership with the church of Scientology.

“Everybody liked Top Gun,” Kimmel stated. “I mean, Tom Cruise along with his shirt off in that beach football scene? L. Ron hubba hubba, you understand what I’m pronouncing?”

“You understand, Tom and James Cameron didn’t exhibit up tonight. The two guys who insisted we go to the theater didn’t come to the theater,” he introduced.

“One of the crucial cynics are saying Jim Cameron isn’t right here as a result of he didn’t get a best possible director nomination and whereas I find that very hard to consider about a man who such deep humility, he does have some degree. I mean, how does the Academy no longer nominate the fellow who directed Avatar? What do they believe he is — a lady?”

“Thank you, girls,” Kimmel replied to applause.

“It was once some 12 months for diversity and inclusion. We now have nominees from every corner of Dublin,” he cracked, adding: “Five Irish actors are nominated tonight. Which means that the chances of every other battle on stage just went means up.”

Watch above, via ABC.

The publish WATCH: Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Will Smith’s Slap, Scientologist Tom Cruise, Variety and The Irish in Oscars Opening Monologue first regarded on Mediaite.